Helping Children Through Divorce

3 Considerations to Settle a Divorce Without Going to Court

26 July 2018

Roberto Sutton

A divorce is hard on every party involved and it gets even more complicated when kids are part of the equation. As much as you hate your ex (or perhaps you'll have an amicable agreement), you'll want to find a way to settle the divorce without actually having to go to court because that can be expensive, emotionally draining, and time-consuming. Here are some considerations to help you settle without the need to go to court:

Make Headways on Items Both Parties Agree to First

Keep in mind that some issues will be bigger than others when a couple is going through a divorce. So instead of trying to work out bigger issues and getting nowhere, it makes sense to make some headway on items that both parties agree to at the start. For example, if you both agree to sell your house and divide the share equally, then tick that item off the box first and get to issues like child custody and spousal support payments after if they are still an issue. Once the negotiation starts and easier issues are ticked off, you may be in a better position to come to agreements about other, more difficult points.   

Stay Calm Even During Pressurising Situations

When you're discussing issues with your ex, things can start to go awry—even with lawyers and family law professionals present because of the amount of tension a divorce causes. You can end up saying things that could result in drawn-out court battles that you ideally want to avoid. The best way is to stay calm even when the situation reaches a boiling point. For example, if your ex issues an ultimatum, don't just scream back. Tell your ex you need time to consider the offer and respond later. These kinds of statements can make a situation calmer instead of worsening it.

Avoid Critical Negotiations Via Email  

Negotiating via email can result in both parties misconstruing statements and using them against the other, which is why some critical negotiations need to be in person with lawyers present. Spousal divorce proceedings are complicated and delicate. Emails can result in harsher statements and meaner words, which is not advisable when you're trying to stay out of court. Face to face meetings typically work best when both parties need to negotiate certain items for the best results.

Going through a divorce is overwhelming. Your family lawyer can help make it easier by settling your case out of court.

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